A formerly a workaholic has lost his job and is being supported by his wife. He says he cannot take a lower-level job because his wife can support them financially. Which response would be therapeutic?

• A. Can you tell me a little more about this?
• B. You need to find any job you can take.
• C. You should focus on your own abilities.
• D. Your wife should support you in finding you a job.

Answer: (A)

The main idea this question tests is how a therapist respond to ambivalence with empathy and curiosity. When someone has lost a job and feels that taking a lower-level position would undermine their identity or independence, the best move is to explore what’s going on behind the hesitation rather than push or judge. Asking, “Can you tell me a little more about this?” invites the client to share the thoughts, feelings, and fears driving the resistance. It signals safety and respect, which helps reduce defensiveness and opens a collaborative space to examine values, self-worth, and the practical realities of the situation. This kind of open-ended question also helps identify specific beliefs—like how much identity is tied to work, what “lower-level” means in their life, and how this would affect the relationship with their wife—so you can address those concerns in a supportive way and work toward a plan that fits the client’s readiness.

Other approaches tend to shut down or pathologize the client’s concerns. Telling him to take any job is prescriptive and can trigger resistance because it doesn’t explore the underlying reasons for his stance. Focusing on his own abilities without acknowledging his feelings can feel dismissive and invalidate the struggle he’s experiencing. Blaming or delegating the responsibility to his wife shifts the conversation away from his experience and can create dependency or conflict, rather than fostering self-reflection and growth.